The new Stern's is unbelievable
Area shoppers were alarmed today when they visited their favorite produce store, only to find a completely new wing added on top of the original. Even more puzzling to most, the extension apparently sells a variety of inexpensive plastic wares.
“Customers want more choice these days, and to compete we need to adapt with their changing needs,” said Sham Metivier, the new owner who recently reopened the store after the loyal customer base rallied to support their favorite produce option. “Amazon sells tons of cheap plastic crap, but we can do it better, and do it right here the Vermont way.”
Phyllis Davis, a longtime loyal Stern’s customer said, “I shop here daily but I’m not too keen on this whole new plastic thing. That seems to go against the spirit of the store and the priorities of this region! Is this new wing even real?”
“Not at all,” responded Metivier.
Bargain hunters weren’t deterred by Metivier’s statement that the new store is fictional. Hartford resident Stan Bishop was eager to see for himself. “I’m not even sure how to get into the place, since there is no obvious way up to that door. It’s risky, but it’s worth getting injured if the prices are really good!”
Check out Stern’s new wing and let us know what you think. And remember to bring your own bags because just like the produce department downstairs, plastic bags are not available!